This was the criteria for their writing:
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Remember to refer to the criteria in your feedback or comment on any other language features that you noticed.
Six Sentence Superhero by Taylor
Once
upon a time there was a mysterious superhero called Night Wing, who could
breathe under water.
Night
Wing lived in a cave in the depths of the tropical ocean and to get there you
needed to give a magic password.
He
could glide off buildings and shapeshift other objects, including people.
One
day his underwater cave was burgled by two super villains and they stole his
freeze ray, his prized possession.
He
was furious and heartbroken at the same time.
So
he rang his friend Night Rider who came as quick as he could so they searched
until they found them and then bashed them and got the freeze ray back.
Six Sentence Superhero by Minnie
Once
upon a time there was a night-out superhero who flew around at night looking
for children who couldn’t sleep so that she could sprinkle diamond spray over
them and send them off to sleep.
She
lived far, far away in a diamond castle where no one would find her.
Her
name was Starry but you could not see her during the day because she only came
out at night.
Her
problem was that if she went out in the sunlight she would go blind.
She
felt unincluded so she was a lonely superhero.
Starry
invited people when she went out and then every Saturday night they had a party
so she was never alone again.
Six Sentence Superhero by Joshua
Once
upon a time there lived an invisible superhero called Night Rider, who was good
at fighting.
Night
Rider lived in an underwater cave in the Antarctic Ocean.
Night
Rider was famous for fighting bad people and catching robbers.
He
was sad because he was lonely in his underwater cave.
Night
Rider was the saddest superhero in the world and the loneliest.
He
thought and thought and then decided to use his super power to get whatever he
wanted and he was never lonely again.
I liked the way all the writers explained how their superhero felt.
ReplyDeleteThey did a great job of following the criteria.
you have good words like mysterious possession hartbroken
ReplyDeleteI think Taylors six sentence story is the best one of all. He followed the criteria the best than any of the writers who wrote those storys. He used a good source of descriptive language like "prized possession".Taylors the best.
ReplyDeletegreat Taylor you have lots adjectives in it and I like your super hero. you should have what your super hero is allergic to and what he is afraid of but the rest of it is good.
ReplyDeleteI like the your words and I like your information and
ReplyDeleteyour vivid verbs
Everybody did an amazing job at introducing where thier superhero lived. Well done!
ReplyDeleteGRAT writing Taylor Minnie and josh I love that you all put information and I like how Minnie yoused causal connectives in her story and I think that all of you could put your superheros fellings but the rest of the storys are soooo amazing!!!!! YOU ALL ARE SOO AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteTHAT IS AWESOME
I like the way the writers used vived verbs and a couple of time connectives like once upon a time. I also liked the way they described their superheros. KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!-Aya
ReplyDeleteI like the way you were using those descriptive words in all of your writing
ReplyDeleteand they did a good job of setting the scene of where there superhero lived for example like Taylors awesome scene of an under water cave
WELL DONE ALL OF THE TAGET GROUP
To Minnie.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you use vivid verbs and adjectives.
Good work Minnie
Fabulous Taylor Minnie and Josh - great adjectives. I liked Taylor's one because it used Mysterious superhero in it and I liked Minnies one because it says she sprinkles diamond dust on children to make them go to sleep and have good dreams. I liked Josh's one becuse he described the problem that he was lonely.
ReplyDeleteWow, you guys are Super Hero Writers! What incredibly awesome language - you have painted amazing pictures in my head with your descriptions. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI like your first paragraph because you had good ideas. I like the way the superhero looks for people who are not sleeping and makes them sleep I wood like Minnie to be someone who makes me sleep. I love the way Minnie has great words.
ReplyDeleteGreat work everybody!
ReplyDeleteTaylor you are good at putting information in your story`s..
ReplyDeletecool stories. target group ! was it fun?
ReplyDelete